What 2009 will bring

Along with the new year comes one more year added to my age, yeah I know it happens for everyone however with my birthday just over a week past the new year they seem to go hand and hand for me. This year I will be intering the 30 somethings, 31 to be exact. Well this year with the new year and my new age I am setting 3 goals for myself. I am not calling them resolutions (I tend not to keep them) they are going to be life goals. With these main goals come many little goals that I have for myself as well. So here they are over this next year of 2009 and my 31st year of life.

1. I will finish my teaching cred. in Jan
a. complete my first aid course
b. pass my constitution test

2. I will get in shape and loose weight
a. train with Team in Training and complete the Rock and Roll Marathon 1/2 Marathon.
b. improve my eating habits for my self and my family

3. Spend more quality time with my family
a. enroll the girls in dance class
b. more family outings on the weekend.

Reflecting

As I sit here reflecting on the past year I feel I have made several steps toward find and rebalancing myself. My life has slowed down a bit and I am trying to make more time for just myself (like attending girls night out at my local Quilting shop). However, I have so many new goals I want to do over the next year I find it overwhelming, I'm not even really sure where to start my next years voyage. There are just so many things to do and finish, for myself as well as my family

Myself:
1. finish my cred.
2. train for the half marathon
3. which to do so I need to fix my foot issues that are continuing to be an issue
4. loose weight and get in shape

My family:
5. keep up with the laundry (which I have decided is my arch enemy).
6. spend more quality time with my girls.
7. enroll them in dance classes.
8. Manage money better

As I list them it all seems over whelming. Life seems like a day to day race that I never seems to have enough time to finish. I want to enjoy my life but I don;t ever seem to find the time to do that. This Christmas seems to be a prime example of this. We have so many people who wanted to spend time with us we ended up having 5 different gathering between christmas eve and day, I felt like I hardly saw my husband or girls. I really find it hard to say no to everyone. I feel like we have to see everyone and with a multibranched family tree and the only branch with kids there are so many people who want to see/ spend time with us during the holiday. Next year we are slimming down the gatherings (not sure how but I have promissed myself that).

I am off to fit as many errands as I can before picking the girls up from school. I will need to think more on the goals for next year and come up with a smaller and more focused list and plan but not today.

Holidays

So the holidays have gotten the better of me, I have not really found the time to train, however I have broken in some really good insoles and they seem to be working. Now that I can wear them for a decent time I need to do a test walk and make sure that they will work in a training situation. If not I guess it is back to the Drs. for custom insoles.

I love the Christmas season. I love the lights, shopping (as long as it it's the last week), the family all together (even knowing there drama that comes with it). I am excited for this year because the girls understand who Santa is and that he brings toys but they understnd more that christmas is Jesus's Birthday. They had their Christmas program this year and it was so cute, they did the manger scene, it was very cute. At the end they sang Happy Birthday to Jesus.

I have finished my christmas shopping and the decorating (even if Audrey doesn't think everything is where it should go and keeps rearaning the decerations). I am now eagerly awaiting this Christmas, my sisters and brother in law will be here and I miss having them around for the girls to grow up with, so I excited they will be here for the holiday. I am excited for Doug to have a few days off to spend with his family. I am also excited to watch everyone open their gifts, I do enjoy shopping and giving to others, to see the happiness on their face when they open their gifts, I would love to be able to give to all my friends and family (I wish money wasn't a issue).

I am counting down the days to my usual hectic b ut wonderful holiday season.

Madeliene

Though I usually wtite about myself today I am dedicating my post to Madeleine, a sweet little girl who has endured more in that last 11 months than most of us have in our lifetime. For those of you unfimilar with Madi's story she has been battleing Neuroblastoma for the past 11 months. She has had 2 major surgeries to remove the tumor as well as 8 rounds of chemo to kill the remaining portion. Her parents recieved the unwanted news Monday moring that the Chemo is not working and the tumor is still growing. The Dr. has refered Madi to a radition specialist at UCSD as well as to a doctor in LA that specializes in experimental neuroblastoma treatments. They are unsure of the next step for Madi, but I do know that no matter what the next step is she can use as many prayers and positive thoughts that we all can give her. So I am asking if you visit my site regularly or you just came across it please keep Madi in your thoughts and prayers.

If you would like to learn more about Madi, her mom has a blog dedicated to her story: http://madmadammadeleine.blogspot.com/

Thanks,
D

Foot Report

Well I was happily surprised by my visit to the Peditrist on Thusday. HE was very nice, asked a ton of questions and talked to me for quite a while and determined I have what is called Neuromas, it is the swelling of the nerve between the 3rd and 4th toes. This causes the numbness in my toes. The cause of this issue for me he thinks is a combo for 2 things my bad knee(which causes me to walk incorrectly) and and my very high arches which lead to little padding in the ball of my foot. The good news is that is fixable, it may take several attempts to fix the issue but it is fixable. He put me on advil every 6 hours for 10 days to help the swelling go down, metersal pads to put in my shoes to help cusion my foot, and instruction to brace my knee for training to help correct my walking. He doesn't see a reason that I can't do the half marathon as long as we can work together to fix the issue so I don't cause any futher damanage, this is possible if I contine to walk without addressing the issue. So we are going to work on fixing the issue over the next 6 weeks before the sign ups for Team in Training in January.

Goal Setting

I have been unable to meet my walking goal over the last couple weeks, since I recovered from my cold my toes have been getting worse :(. I tried the insoles with no luck so my Dr. did summit a referral for a Podiatrists last week. I was pleasantly surprised when the paper work from the insurance company came this weekend. I called them today expecting to be told the next open apt was weeks away, I was surprised again when they asked if I could come in today (I couldn't I had to work) however they did get em an apt for Thursday and I have to go have my foot x-rayed tomorrow so they could look at them on Thursday. I am still pretty sure that it does have something to do with my knee but I will wait to see what the Dr. has to say on thus.

Since I have been unable to do as much training as I have wanted to do I have decided to do some goal setting in other parts of my life I would like to work on as well.

Goals:

1. Finish My Teaching Cred. by Jan 09
a. take first aid class
b. pass US const. test

2. Be proactive in the diagnoses and treatment of my foot and knee allowing me to train for the half marathon in May.

These are my 2 top goals for the remainder of 08 (wow I can't believe there are less than 6 weeks left in the year).

To The Overbearing smothering Mother of my 8th grader student:

I wish you could see how much you are damaging you daughter.

You show up at school everyday and check in with every one of her teachers you can track down (oh yeah the ones you cannot find are accually hinding from you), can you not see that this truely bothers her.

Then you walk her over the bridge or drive her across the street to our center where you treate her like a 2nd grader byt telling her to put down her backpack, take out her folder and give you her assignment calender so you can priorities her HW she is to do (b/c you don't think she can do it herself).

You then inform her loud enough so the entire center that she needs to fill out the calender during school time not after (which by the way I agree with) . You then belittle her some more which I focus away from b/c yes I do have other students who deserve my attention as well.

When I turn back aroung you are asking her over and over what is wrong with her and if she is sad today, what excatly are you expecting her to say? so she plays it safe and doesn't answer you. You leave it at that and leave her to her work finally after belitting her and smothering her for 20 minutes.

As soon as you hit the door you don't see the burden and weight lift off her shoulder as she gets to work where she is unfocused and off task most of the 3 hours you left her with us to help her though her studies. You then get upset (so my co teacher tells me) becuase she didn't finish what you wanted her to (which I know in my heart she didn't complete so you would overeact to just so she can get under your skin just the way you got under hers earlier).

You running to her rescue every time she fails a test or forgets to turn in an assignment getting the teachers to allow her to do make up work to raise her grade will only hurt her in the end. Not holding her accountable will truely hurt her in the long run.

You come to me for advise yet don't really listen to it or take it when you don't like hearing what I have to say and then telling me that you have every right to be involved in your daughters school work and have a say in what gets done when b/c you have social plans Thus day you don't want to have to cancel them b/c ____ doesn't have her HW or studing done for the week. I so wish you could her your self when you talk.

Well I have decided that I am done, done with all the drama you bring into my life. I am walking away I spend way to much energy on you for little reward. I have plenty of other clients who are 95% lees drama than you are, who's parents are happy and pleased with the level of attention and support they and their students recieve from us (less than 1/4 of what you demand). I am moving on to them I can take all the attention you demand for you not even for your child and help so many more students with the energy it takes jsut to please you.

(p.s I didn't send this to her or day anyting to her I just really need to vent, I can;t stand watching her distroy her daughter anymore)

All Better

Well I am feeling better. Not 100% but close. I did have my drs. apt on Thusday which had disappointing results. She told me that my toe issues don 't have anything to do with my knee, which I know in my gut that she is wrong about but she seemed pretty sure of herself. She wants me to try insloes in my shoes first before she sends me to a pediestrist. So I will stop tomorrow and pick some up and see if they help or not we will see. If they do great, I will be happy that it will be that easy; however I do have my doubts that it will be that easy.

I am excited for tomorrow. I have a apt with a corrective eye surgery specialist tomorrow for a consulation on correcting my eyesight. I have been told by my eye dr that I am not a good canadate fot lasic surgery due to the shape of my eyes in compraison to the amount they would need to reshape them to correct my blind ass eyes LOL! However the FDA has recently approved a procedure called ICL (internal Corrective Lens). Basically it is a permanet contact lens that they insert on top of the lens inside of your eye. The procedure is more invasive that lasic however not real risky it is simular to cateric surgery. This procedure would correct my vision from 20/900 to 20/20 (yes I am that blind). I don;t remember what it is like not having to depend on glasses on contacts (I have depended on the since I was 6). I am very excited to see what the drs. say tomorrow, however this procedure is more expencive than lasik, and with it considered a cosmetic surgery insurance doesn't cover it. So we are still discussing if it can be done financially or not on our end right now or if it will have to be put off for a later time in my life.

I am also excited to start walking again even if it looks like it will have to be at the gym, since it has rained all day here today. I am excited to restart my training for the 1/2 marathon.

I have also decided to start working on other parts of my life as well on this journey to rediscover myself, more to come on that end right now I am loggin off ot spend so time with the hubby.

Well I am still sick, and I do have to say this cold really sucks! I can generally function through a cold pretty well, but this one has really knocked be on my butt, I can't think or breath and my head is a constant fish bowl, not a good combo for trying to teach. I am plugging through but I have been lucky to have the energy to make it through the day so no walks for me this week so far :(.

Still Sick

Well I am not feeling better today but I have found something of myself this weekend that I had been missing, loosing myself in a good book. I haven't had much time lately to read couldn't tell you why LOL. But this weekend I was able to really able to get into reading and I remembered how much I really love reading. This is something I am going to make an effort to do for myself from no on.

Sick babies=Sick mommy

This will be very short. Well after dealing with 2 sick girls all week it has now csught up with me, Now I am sick :(. So much for my 4 mile walk today, I can't take a step without my head pounding. I am going to rest this weekend and try to kick this thing quickly, so I can get back on track soon.

When did they get so heavy?

Is what went through my mine today as I pushed 60+ lbs up the local hills on my walk today. The girls were home sick today so I decided to take them on my walk today (the same on I did solo on Saturday). I didn't really notice that there were sooooo many hills on my walk Saturday but I defently noticed today as I pushed both girls in their stroller, pushing 60+ lbs defently made my walk more intense (which was good since we only made it 1/2 way when they were done and wanted to go home).

Today was a good day though I made it all day w/o a soda of any kind!!! YEAH ME!!!

I am leaving tonight on that good note, I am way to tired to dive any deeper tonight (2 sick kids = little sleep for mommy).

Sick babies

Well ok so they aren't really babies anymore but both of my girls are sick. They have been fighting a nasty cold bug for the last couple of weeks (this is normal for them thanks to their daddy's small sinuses) but the bug one yesterday and they now both have sinus infections (also the norm) but this one is really bad :( and they were both up most of the night coughing and hacking, which leads to little sleep for this mama. Called the Dr. this morning and they wanted to see them so we spent 2 hrs there. and then it was off to work for me, home for dinner then off to fill the prescriptions for both of them and home after dark. So needless to day I didn't get my much needed and antisipated walk in today :(. I also didn't do my body well, I ate little and what I did eat wasn' t the best for me and I am feeling the results tonight.

But tomorrow will be a new day and it the girls are up for it, I am planning to strap them in their jogging stroller and we will walk early.

I am feeling good today, I took a walk around our new neighborhood today, wow there are a lot of hills here, but I made it about 2.5 miles YEAH. I could have gone longer but the toes on my right foot were numb (that is my bad knee). So I am going to keep walking but I am making an apt to see the Dr for a physical and to see if she can suggest or send me to physical therapy to strengthen it correctly so I can make it the 13 miles on awake feet :).

I was really proud of myself this morning, I had made it back towards the house (the walk I planned is a loop 1.5 miles) but I decided that I could keep going and just walked on past and added 1 more mile to my route. I don't know how long it took me but Monday I will time myself to see how I am doing time wise (tomorrow is a rest day according to the schedule even though I just started I will take it off so I can start next week on schedule).

I ahve also decided to help my energy level I am going to be cutting soda out of my diet for the most part (I learned form Jenn that I am allowed a cheat day). Most of you know that this will be huge for me to do but I am confidant I can do it. I started today and I am doing well, the true test will be this evening.

Over the last few months I have discovered that I have lost the person I used to be. The confidant, opinionated, and self assured women I used to be. Don't get me wrong I love being a mother and a wife however I feel like that is all I am anymore and I have decided to start a journey to rediscover and re-event a new "D", a balance between, being a condfiant woman, a loving mom and wife. I have decided to join a dear friend, Jenn, in this journey. She has already started her journey and has been a great inspiration for me to start my our journey and blog about it as it has helped her. You can check out her blog at http://www.thewholejenny.com/.

A good friend of Jenn's just completed a Mathathon in SF, through Team In Training and she has inspired us to take thelife changing journey of training for the Rock and Roll half marathon here in San Diedo in May. I feel that this is jsut what I need to help me discover and redifine "The New D".

For those of you who don't know who Team in Training is they are a Non Profit group who trains everyday people to train for marathons, cycling events and triatholons in return for fundraising for Blood Cancer Research. This cause personally touches me for over that last 4 years I have been surrounded by people I know who have been effective by cancer, I can count 6 off the top of my head (2 of the 6 with a blood cancer). I feel that this journey is juat what I need right now.

While Team in Training does not start training and Fundraising until Jan. Jenn and I are starting our Journey and training now.

As part of my journey I am planning on blogging daily to help me sort out feelings and track my progress and I grow through my journey.

Thanks for visiting and Thanks in advance for any support you will be giving me in my journey.

Danelle